Catharsis
-
-
Sometimes it feels like anything good is ripped away from me. Be it because of circumstance, life, or my own plain stupidity.
I remember, age 10, moving out of that driveway.
Everything packed up and gone, bar ourselves.
Passing the street and town I knew so well.
Passing the blue door of the Irish lass I spent many a lunchtimes company with.
Time in the car seemed to span an eternity as I looked back, and onward.
It’s like I knew things would never be the same again.
-
Everything Days
I still don’t ‘truly’ know what to stick to, to be honest. You know, that one thing or two (the second usually ending up a side-hobby, so I’m told) that you devote yourself into for the rest of days as you bumble along the occasional rocky roads. Perhaps changing that main occupation once or twice down the road, but nonetheless, claiming that you are ‘this’.
It certainly would be nice to get the feeling of more ground beneath you. Where, despite uncertainties, some certainties nonetheless are there as comfort. It’s not fun wobbling about on a boat for too long. Though I suppose you could argue it certainly can be thrilling.
What I do know is, I often have days where I want to do EVERYTHING. From art to acting. Programming to writing. Music to photography, dancing to travel. To learning japanese to studying the history of slug evolution. Ice skating? An app on iOS? Karate?
This is all without even putting romantic matters into the topic. (Everything can tend to be more fun with two.)
One would say to just go with (assuming you have the time and chance) everything the heart feels to do. Logic would say it wouldn’t lead to a sustainable grounded future without at least one or two ‘things’ to make money with.
Both sides are true. Regrettably the latter is just how life works. Nonetheless I don’t let that stop me multi-tasking (or at least, attempting to, as a guy!) and tending to not get to finishing any one particular task as much as I’d want to, but that’s ok. Because it’s also a reminder that we live in a society where we CAN get the chance to do all these interesting things. Also, you only live once.
…
It could also be perhaps said that with the wealth of things one can think about doing on days like this, that one truly loves living life more then I think I do at times.
I truly enjoy ‘everything’ days.
-
Slumpy dumplings
It’s hard to feel organised, and sometimes harder to feel the motivation to notice life could be more organised. That spark in the head that reaffirms that yeah, you could have gotten more done and felt more accomplished as a result, in the last few days, or over the last week.
I like to call this slump periods. Where your goals are pushed aside, you live day by day (not entirely a bad thing at times, by its own respect) but your initial motivations that fire you, that make you work as if it’s a continuous string of clicking fingers (not to mention make you feel good about yourself) are…they’re there, but its scattered all over the place. You kind of have to rebuild that set of lego again (into a ship, in my case. Always tried to make ships with legos) to remind yourself what/why you are doing it for.
And sometimes of course, life doesn’t give you the chance to sit down wether you like it or not (also not entirely a bad thing, at times). Slumps can go by quicker at times like this because the person essentially becomes machine mode(not to put it so crudely). You may be a little seasick but the ship doesn’t stop sailing. The visions are still dead ahead.
My odd metafors are simply brilliant, right?
When things in life do feel organised and meaningful though, it’s some of the best self-confidence one has. Makes you fight anything that stands in the way.
Never lose sight of the truly meaningful stuff in life.
Now go hug a kitten, or something. Ugh
